Leave of Absence Personal Statement

7 March 2024

To whom it may concern,

I am taking a leave of absence from York University effective immediately. I require time away from York University to focus on my family.

I am living a Scoop experience. My Scoop experience is not universal. The point of my dissertation is to demonstrate Indigenous research methods in a history of the Scoop. As a student in the Canadian history PhD program at York University, it is my right and privilege to articulate when I am incapable of meeting obligations to my research and my teaching responsibilities. A Good Mind is necessary to accomplish my academic and personal goals. It is my professional opinion that a leave of absence is the best decision for me as a Scoop survivor. I remain fully committed to my dissertation, but I need time away to focus on The Seven Grandfather teachings, community support, and the medicine wheel. I am neglecting mind (Yellow, East) and body (Black, West).

When I started this academic year, York University was the most important responsibility in my life. I met my birth mother for the first time in December 2023. No amount of book learning prepared me for intergenerational trauma. I am learning about addiction, caregiving, and family bonding daily. No one on my team anticipated this situation when I began the 2023-2024 school year. My mental anguish is invisible to most, but not my students. For 17 weeks I turned distress into structured lessons for 16 wonderful youth. I no longer have the capacity to use intergenerational trauma as a lesson plan.

Addiction, intellectual disabilities, and violence against Indigenous women became central to my life as soon as I met my mother. As it stands now, I am incapable of reading my child welfare case file without crying or sleeping. This is a mental block that can only be dealt with therapy and time. I am going to take a leave of absence to seek treatment from both medical science and my cultures. I am proud to say I have many new avenues to learn from my aunties and new-to-me extended family. A leave of absence is necessary for this stage of my learning journey.

I require a leave of absence to find a new elder. My elder was recently outed for committing identity fraud. Laurier placed my former elder on leave indefinitely while the institution completes an investigation. As a result, my main source of cultural comfort is replaced by fear and distrust. This is the Scoop experience. As a Scoop survivor, I am susceptible to this kind of mistreatment, bullying, and fear in urban Indigenous spaces, particularly in the Kitchener-Waterloo Region. Many of my peers support this fraud which manifests in ongoing social media bullying and online harassment. This situation led to many fruitful discussions with my students but like I said, I no longer have the capacity to turn bullying into a lesson plan.

My final reason for taking a leave of absence is that I need to travel to care for my family. My Scoop experience takes place anywhere between Saskatoon and Toronto. Support on the phone is not enough. I must travel to my family members. This is my role even if I do not understand.

This letter feels like failure. If I must fail at York University to keep my family together, then please accept this document is proof of my choice.

If you need more proof of any of my claims, please feel free to reach out.

All the best,

Cecilia Elizabeth Best